J

I have spent a portion of today probing the wounds and bruises that were there last year, blind to whether they actually remain until I feel the pain or sting. It would seem I have mostly healed.

I still feel...slighted. I still want to walk into his precious circle and make sure they know exactly the type of person he is, exactly the things he did, exactly how he hurt me - and then turned me into the bad guy. I still want to run into him one day and see shock in his eyes at how well I'm doing. Shock, and shame. I want to see him feel ashamed for doing what he did to me, and I want to see him hurt. I want to see that he knows that it's all his fault, and I want it to hurt him.

So maybe I'm not fully healed yet. Maybe I haven't fully forgiven.

I'm going to stop now before I start crying.